Why Do I Make Lists

I didn't grow up making lists. I resisted lists the first five years of my marriage. I still resist them. Why? They help me make sense of the world. They help me make order and help me progress and get things done and finish things through. I've always compiled lists of my favorite things: teams, movies, books, music. Why not make lists for everyday tasks. For the non-esoteric things that actually need getting done. So I find myself more and more making lists. It's helpful. Unbelievably helpful. Things suddenly get done. I feel better. Life feels better. But it's still not in my nature to make lists. Maybe I resist them because it diminishes some creative impulse, or could squash that impulse. The impulse I hold as tightly as I do my kids in a crowd. But it doesn't. If anything it frees up that impulse. Keeping to from drowning among the maelstrom of things that need to get done and the best and most orderly way to get things done.

I suppose that's the whole idea behind limitations. Behind the freedom that exists from coloring within the lines. It may seem like it's inhibiting. It may seem stifling. But it's not. Boundaries. Borders. Lists. Order. It's necessary. It's better. It avoids the foggy haze of being unsure if I can color something blue here, or red here. And if I use yellow or brown or black will it still look right. If the lines are drawn, if the lists are made, a natural order of things progresses. Leaving me more time to focus on using the right colors in the best places.

More than I can remember I've resisted lists. But I've always been a staunch purveyor of maps. It being inherent within me to plan the direction I will take from point A to point B. Lists. Maps. It's all the same thing.

I'm finding that my Art is too. That I benefit greatly from setting aside definitive times of day to focus on writing. And to make lists and maps of things I need to accomplish. Maybe my writing is nothing more than a coloring within the lines, something a child could do. But I assure you, though I aim to work within the set and fixed borders, the creativity that emerges paints some pretty wonderful pictures.